The GiddieUp Press Box

For Immediate Release

GiddieUp Holds a Press Conference
Talking Trades and Tragedy

November 5, 1999 All the major principles of the GiddieUp fantasy football team had a press conference at a local establishment Friday afternoon. They said that the organization needs a shake up to get back into their winning ways. All players are up for a trade. The owner and coach were in agreement that "None of these guys are worth shit! But they sure had a great record last year." Remember, Eric Moulds comes off Injured Reserve next week and is ready to go! Have a look at our starters and other players.

With the captive crowd the waterboy gave a statement. He told gossipers that Herby Bologna, his adopted furby, was found molested in the bathroom Thursday night. He was discovered by the cleaning staff face down on the floor with stuffing sticking out of his butt. The waterboy is accusing an unnamed owner who has been sending needless email (spam) to him recently. All he would say is: "It was somebody's HANDY work." No other principles would comment on the tragic incident and would not say if pictures of the crime seen will be released.